


Lover

by protectoroffaeries



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Anal Sex, M/M, Porn with Feelings, Romantic love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-02
Updated: 2017-09-02
Packaged: 2018-12-22 23:28:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 978
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11977338
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/protectoroffaeries/pseuds/protectoroffaeries
Summary: Alex is overwhelmed, but in a good way.





	Lover

There's nothing quite like the feeling of being full.

Alex doesn't just mean physically, although with John deep inside him, with every miniscule movement John makes, he's hurtling toward rapture. He tosses his head back into their pillows like a man possessed, fingernails and heels digging into the soft skin of John's back. The hot, dense air filling the room sparks with the broken sound of his little moans; Alex tries and fails to cut each and every one one of them off.

He is full. Full of John's cock, full of the otherworldly energy that accompanies a good fuck.

Alex enjoys the physical, of course.

John slows down. Alex snatches his breath back. Not yet. It's been a long time since it was just physical.

In the sappiest sense, Alex’s heart is also full. He is so desperately in love with the man inside him. He loves John Laurens more than anything, and, God, it's fucking terrifying to love someone that much. Being full has an aspect of vulnerability that Alex has never particularly liked, a dimension of trust that he's never been able to reach with another person. John is different, though. He needs to give John everything, in a way he can hardly understand, let alone articulate.

John runs the pads of his fingers over Alex’s lips. Alex draws one into his mouth, runs his tongue over where callous meets smooth skin. Tastes like artificial vanilla, the way those tacky candles smell. Layers of their relationship bloom in every sensory detail.

John moves slowly, drawing out each thrust as seconds tick away into minutes. Alex passes the time between deep, sweet nudges by memorizing his lover. He outlines clusters of freckles in his mind’s eye, follows the curvature of the free curls falling around John's face. Alex stares into John’s eyes, overwhelmed in black now, but with edges still swirled in greens, browns, grays. Eyes are the windows to the soul, so they say, and Alex sees himself - open and vulnerable - reflected in John's eyes.

Love making isn't something people can do until they're full of one another. Alex knows how reflections work, but he prefers see himself as a sign. Both of them are melting; Alex can feel John's honeyed sighs. Maybe this really is how two souls become one.

John takes his fingers away, fills their place is Alex’s mouth with his tongue. The tight press of lips, the brush of John's tongue against his soft palate, stokes the fires within Alex.

Alex arches his back, ever impatient. John drags on so slowly, and it's beautiful, but Alex has always been known for destroying beauty. For ruining the moment.

The kiss ends too soon, and John grins at him. He digs his palms into the sharp bones of Alex’s hips. Lost privilege. He is completely at John's mercy, like he always was.

John studies Alex’s face, intense gaze slipping over Alex’s features, and Alex has to wonder if John’s mind goes in the same direction as his own. Does he feel every tender, feminine emotion that their fathers tried to beat out of them, like Alex does? Does he feel otherworldly? They are in a different timeline, on a different plane. The world around them works not like their own, not right now. Not while they're together like this.

“You're crying.”

It takes Alex a few seconds to realize that those are actual words coming from John's mouth. He touches his face and feels the wetness streaking his cheeks.

John is pulling away when Alex stops wondering about tears. He sinks his fingernails into the lean meat of John's shoulder, and John pauses.

“Don't stop.”

“But-”

“They're good tears, I promise.” Where is Alex’s eloquence? He must've left it with all his shields.

John still seems hesitant.

 _“Please,”_ Alex begs, _“John.”_ He buries his face in the crook of John's neck, breathes in the layer of sweat glittering against his skin, mouths along his collarbone.

John is an exquisite example of Nature’s most divine beauty. Alex can feel it in the bulge of every muscle beneath John’s skin, but there is something humble about it. John does not look nearly as strong as he is. He's sculpted of bronze, but flecked in gold. There are cracks, scars, a history of hardship. Hang him for his blasphemy, John is the only altar for worship that Alex needs to cleanse his soul.

“Alex?”

“Please, John.”

John moves, thankfully, and Alex pulls away from his neck so that he can see John's face again. “Is it still good?”

“Better than words can describe,” Alex breathes, sounding utterly helpless.

John fills Alex completely, as deep as possible. It's just a gentle nudge, like all the light touches before, but Alex is overwhelmed by everything about John right now. The world fades into a cacophony of indistinguishable colors and sounds, and Alex cums, suddenly, with his cockhead brushing along John's abdominals. He paints them in a murky white.

 _"Alex,"_ for the first time, John sounds as wrecked as he does, _“oh, Alex.”_

Alex whimpers, words lost on him for the first time in his life. He kisses along the edge of John's jaw and down his neck, blinking tears off his eyelashes. He needs John to fill him in one more way before he can drift away on bliss.

“I love you,” Alex whispers, like it's a confession. Like his lover doesn't already know.

The cry accompanying John's orgasm vibrates under Alex’s lips before it hovers in the heat around them. The loss of John's cock is juxtaposed by the last sense of fullness. More physical, but maybe John also poured his heart and soul into Alex. Who knows what happens here.

There's nothing quite like loving someone completely, with every fiber of your being, and there's nothing quite like knowing that they feel exactly the same way.


End file.
